Happy Thursday beautiful people!
How are you doing on this damp and chilly fall evening? I apologize for the lack of posts, but my boyfriend had his phone back this week, so between classes, homework, and catching up with him I have been a busy bee. I am doing exceptionally well! I am super happy today because my boyfriend and I just made a plan for the next year and a half in context of our schooling/jobs/relationship and I think we have a really awesome goal to work towards now! I think we both feel focused and ready for the challenges the next 365 days will present, but the end payoff will be worth it (*Cough – like an engagement – Cough*). Yes, yes I know – This is super awesome! I am so excited I can barely contain myself!
My boyfriend is preparing for another period of time of no contact. He just received his phone back last Friday, but unfortunately he has to go right back to a new phase of training, which includes his phone being shut off until it is over. It really stinks, but this is a vital part of his training, so the sooner he gets through it, the better for everybody! I can’t wait for this part of training to be over. While he is gone though, I will have many things to do! I have midterms coming up, my family is going to Puerto Rico next weekend for the holiday, plus all of the fun fall things that come along with the glorious month of October! I might be going to my best friend’s college for Halloween, but also I might be going down to visit my boyfriend for that weekend! There are so many fun and awesome things that will be occurring this month, and I have a feeling October will pass by in the blink of an eye. It’s my favorite month of the year, so it is sad it will be over so quickly, but hey at least I am making the most of it, right?
With all of these awesome things happening, and my excitement I share with my boyfriend about our plan for the next year, it has inspired me to write an article about it. My boyfriend and I have discussed several plans for our future together, yet all of them before the current one left us a little uncertain about its solidity and a little apprehensive about the future. With our new plan and goals in mind, it has us excited and we have turned over a new leaf as a couple. Let me explain further why having a plan is important for military couples.
There is a lot of stress distance can put on a relationship. The uncertainty of when you’ll see your loved one, the financial strain of travel, and the demands of the military all boils down to making reuniting with your loved one a stressful and usually last minute affair. Because of all of the last minute plans, and the sometimes periods of no contact the military demands, it is hard to even know where to start to plan for the future if at all. Here are some tips for planning out the future as a couple, while keeping both you and your partner’s goals in mind, while keeping your sanity intact 😉
1) Don’t overshoot or undershoot your time frame. This is important because you don’t want to make your goal with your partner too much to handle in a short time frame, but you also don’t want to allot too much time to where it seems like it will take a millennia before you accomplish the task. For example, say you and your SO want to buy a new car together. Unless both of you have good jobs and are living together and are financially straight in all other aspects of your life, don’t set a goal of buying a new car in four months. If, as I just mentioned, all your ducks are in a row and it is financially possible in that little time period, then by all means go for it. But if not, try to shoot for 8 months to a year or something more realistic so you don’t stress yourselves out, and so you don’t feel defeated once the four months is up and you don’t have all of the funds yet.
2) Keep each other’s goals in mind. A relationship is a partnership. Don’t value your goals over your partners, and they shouldn’t value theirs over yours either! For example, in a year and a half, I will be done with college and my boyfriend will be done training. I will graduate college around the same time he will complete all his schools, and then we will move-in together shortly after we are both finished. This makes it easy on both of us because we both will be finished with the most stressful parts of our lives currently, and we can finish that portion of our lives with a degree for me and certain qualifications for him. Then we can begin the next chapter of our lives together and start a new part of our story! Both people in a relationship should try to find a way to make both partner’s life goals fit into the future plan to be together. It is hard since the military sends our servicemen and women where ever they see fit and whenever they need to. However, with enough thought, you can always try to find a way to be together that is compatible with both people’s careers and interests. Keeping each other in perspective will avoid conflict between partners and avoid resentment.
3) Make your plan realistic and be flexible. Life happens and it happens sometimes in ways which are not favorable. You should plan for change and have a contingency plan (a backup), whether that be a longer or shorter time frame, or even an adjustment to your original plan to achieve your goal. Military significant others have to be adaptable to change because that is the nature of a military career. Make sure you plan for the worst possible scenario, but also hope and work towards the best possible scenario. Being flexible and open to the possibility of change will reduce tension or stress caused by the change between you and your partner. You’re in this with them together, and the only way to conquer it as a couple is to drive forward together.
So there you have it people – just some things to keep in mind when thinking long term with your military SO. It is hard, and it takes a few plans to find the one that works for you and your partner. Once you find it, you will be excited and happy you have something to work towards! I hope this was a little helpful for you guys, and let me know if you have some exciting plans for your future with your milso, ie: vacations, engagements, weddings, anything! I’ll definitely be keeping you all posted about mine! 😀