Wow. Quarantine and the COVID-19 pandemic has been quite the experience so far. In about 10 weeks, I’ve been furloughed from every single job I held this past year (minus some dance company work which is being handled digitally). I’ve lost the opportunity to perform, to teach, to choreograph, to wish my senior dance students off to college, and to say goodbye to my students at my beloved dance studio I’ve taught at for the last three years. My unemployment is nonexistent, and I’ve not received a dime of federal financial assistance since NJ went into a state of shelter. I was in the middle of finally narrowing down testing to pinpoint all of the auto-immune responses/health issues I was having between October 2019 and March 2019. That has also been put-off for the time being due to COVID-19. Further, I even had to miss a trip to see my best friend in Chicago before she moves to Seattle. This virus has ruined every part of my life (except my health THANK GOD).
It’s been an extremely emotional, and tumultuous time for me. This pandemic has caused a great deal of panic for me, in addition to abruptly ending parts of my life I will never gain closure to. I feel robbed of experiences, memories, and the money I need to support myself and pay my bills on time.
Last Wednesday (March 13), I received some pretty horrendous news regarding the dance company I perform with in NYC. I broke down in tears at the news, and cried harder when I read,
“NYC theaters will remain closed until 2021”.
My heart sank to my feet. The impact this virus has on the dance world is severe and long-term. I think it will be at least a year until NYC’s dance and theater scene are back on their feet and running. NJ Governor Murphy even announced today that until there is a vaccine, the shelter will remain in place. I cannot even fathom how that is constitutional or supposed to work. Vaccines take at least one to two years to be created/tested. What that means for the dance world is performing arts and fitness are not going to operate how they used to ever again. What that means for life as I knew it is that life is over. I felt hopeless and directionless.
Last Wednesday, I’d had it. I’ve cried so much the last 10 weeks, and cried the hardest on Wednesday. The ONLY motivation that has kept me going this entire 10 weeks was my application to graduate school. I applied for a program to earn my MA in Clinical Mental Health Counseling with a Concentration in Dance/Movement Therapy, and a certificate in Life/Career Coaching. I sent my application in in the middle of March, and had my virtual interviews on May 7. I was anxiously awaiting the response because if I was accepted, I was going to have a direction. A goal. A purpose!
I woke up on March 14 to my phone buzzing. A mental health facility I applied to the night before was calling me regarding my application! The first call back in WEEKS. I landed an interview (which is digital and being held tomorrow morning), and after I got off of the phone, I called my mom, and then went downstairs tell my dad. As I walked up to my dad’s office, my phone “pinged” with an email regarding my application status was updated.
I opened the email, and BOOM! There it was in all of it’s glory and grace, an acceptance letter into the school, into my program – complete with a SCHOLARSHIP! It was as if the skies opened up and poured this life-changing shower of gifts and blessings over me all in the matter of minutes! A possible new job, more education, and financial aid!? I couldn’t believe it, and I am STILL in shock about it!
Becoming a Dance/Movement Therapist has been a goal of mine for the last 8 years! Dance/Movement Therapy is the reason I chose the undergraduate program I attended because they offered a minor study in it. The program I will be completing will allow me to graduate as a Licensed Professional Counselor, a Registered Dance/Movement Therapist, and a Board Certified Life Coach!
I want to work with veterans/military personnel, and women who’ve survived trauma. I want to write two books – a memoir about my life and experience with body-based trauma and movement expression, and a research-based book on how movement and dance heals the traumatized body and mind more effectively than traditional talk therapy. The beginning of all of these goals starts with this Master’s education, and I just CANNOT BELIEVE I AM GOING TO ACTUALLY DO IT!
This whole experience has confirmed to me this is what I am supposed to do with my life. I always knew it too, but this chain of events has confirmed to me I am in the right place in my life, and I will be able to help a lot of people. I have a direction, I have big goals, and I have a big purpose for this lifetime. I cannot wait to begin!
If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading. Life is so strange and horrific and wonderful all at the same time. To me, it’s truly a miracle all of these amazing, wonderful things came to me during this time of extreme panic and no direction. I think the biggest lesson this taught me is to remain positive. There is light and hope at the other end of this pandemic.
I hope you are all healthy and safe! I will keep you all posted about this new job, and updates on schooling as they become available. Sending out lots of light and love to everyone. Stay safe!
Future R/DMT LPC